Today, I begin working a 3PM to 11PM shift three days a week and a day shift two days a week so DH can go to school. He’s in a two-year RN program.
I slept in, cuddled with my boys while watching Mickey Mouse Club, helped them do an art project and made fruit smoothies.
My world is balancing being a mom, a wife, and a police officer.
Once the boys were busy playing on their own, I got on my computer to check some work emails. I came across two things: a police shoot-out in Wisconsin and a police officer killed assassinated in San Diego, just sitting in his squad car. I watch these dramatic videos and read the tragic news stories as I hear Dinosaur Train coming from my living room.
I try not to think of the unthinkable. You can’t as a police officer or else you will never be able to do your job. I won’t be afraid. I won’t avoid dangerous calls or look the other way when I see a traffic violation. I will do my job, by the grace of God. I have to trust that He will protect me. I’m 5’0 and 113 lbs. I’m not going to kid myself, I can’t go toe to toe with some huge guy. But I have my instincts, my tools on my belt, my sixteen years of experience and my ability to talk people into my backseat. Not to mention my back-up. As a sergeant, my risk is lessened a bit, but not much. Our last police officer killed was a sergeant.
Now I must go play hide and seek with a three and five year old. And later, as I hug and kiss them good-bye, I will say a little prayer that I will make it home safely. Once I begin driving away from home, I will turn off my mom mode and turn on my cop mode, leaving it all behind. That is just what we do. Then, when I return home, I will sneak into their rooms and kiss their sleepy little heads, thankful to be home.
Author’s note: This was written from my heart. I almost didn’t post it for fear that other police officers might read it and think I’m a wimp or weak. But I’m just being real.
