This past Sunday, I tried out a new church. We need to find something closer to our house. The church we currently attend is 30+ miles away and has over 3,000 members.
I found a medium sized Baptist church in the neighboring suburb. I decided to scope it out first by myself.
Although a bit nervous, I strolled in the front door trying to act like I belonged there. I went to the Welcome Booth and cautiously, quietly told the kind, 50-ish couple this was my first time there.
“Well, what can we help you with?”
My mind went blank and honestly, I said, “Um, where’s the bathroom?” Without laughing, they directed me down the hall and to the right. Then, after asking a few questions about the nursery and preschool rooms, I ventured off on my own. The nursery looked secure and well monitored, as well as the preschool area.
Once in the sanctuary, I grabbed the first seat right by the back door. I just wanted to blend in. Having come from a such a large church, this smaller setting was a little unnerving. I felt like everyone was looking at me.
The service began and after one contemporary Christian song and one hymn, they instructed us to greet one another. I shook hands and said, “Good morning,” to a handful of people. Then, I spotted the pastor. He was the gregarious one with salt and pepper hair, cheerily making his way down the aisle and towards the back. It quickly occurred to me he was headed right towards me. I looked forward and pretended not to see him. See, in our semi-mega church, the pastor is more of an icon than a real person, actual contact is rare. Before I knew it, the pastor was beside me, offered his hand, and warmly wished me a good morning.
The message was sound and biblically based, practical and relevant. I found that the time flew by. Once we were dismissed, I headed for the door. And to my surprise, there was the pastor again. He was shaking everyone’s hands as they exited. When it was my turn, I told him I enjoyed his message. He said, “Is this your first time here?” and I said yes. He said he hoped I enjoyed my visit and looked forward to seeing me again.
I’m looking forward to having DH and the boys come with next week. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
Have YOU ever had to search for a new church?
What do YOU like best about YOUR church home?
30 comments:
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! When my husband and I first started dating we "church shopped" for a little while, and let me tell you in small town upstate NY, a young couple in their 20's attending church stood out like a sore thumb, we were targeted as soon as we walked in the door (everyone was nice but it can be a bit overwhelming). Once we were married and moved to the Twin Cities we once again needed to church shop; but by this point we had some practice. I really recommend trying things that are completely different than what you are used to, it really gets your feet wet and you will be surprised what might "feel like home." This past summer before moving (yet again) we tried out a few more churches just for fun (as now my husband is the intern pastor at a church and it will be a while before we "church shop"). Hope you and your family find something close by. It's interesting to see what people look for in a church; I'm sure you will find what your family needs.
Oh, grab onto this church and hang on for dear life!
Mike and I left a very friendly culture in Eau Claire, WI...and our church was SO FRIENDLY (yet, it was 500-600 members...not huge, but not tiny, either). But, the pastor knew many people and there were greeters and we were quickly assimilated into the congregation after joining. We were definitely church "family." Definitely.
Then we moved to here. (You know where "here" is.) It's growing on me, after 5 years, but I'd take my old town over this any day! It's not the church as much as the culture - because we church-hopped to find one. And, we feel like we're SUPPOSED to be here at this church. But this town is stand-offish, it's the culture...maybe it's the cities, I don't know...the church is a tad bit bigger than the other - but not by much.
So, if you sense friendly I say HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE!!!!!
I hope this turns out to be your new church! It sounds like a good experience. We chose our church just after we were married, because it was on the same street as the first house we bought and good friends went there. At that age and stage of our lives, we weren't concerned too much about facilities and programs, having no children yet, but mainly wanted it to be biblically based and sound, friendly, and God-centered. We have now been there over 15 years, and we have gone through a lot of changes, not ones I'm always pleased about, but I keep asking God to show us where he wants us. And our kids like our church, which is extremely important!
We had a hard time finding a church that "fit" in our previous town. It was very frustrating. But now we found the right one! It makes a big difference. I hope your family enjoys your new find next week. Keep us posted.
So glad it went well for you. We've been searching for a church home since we moved to Memphis and still haven't really found one we're all comfortable with. It can be such a daunting task, searching out churches. Hope the rest of your family loves it!
Wow - it is so hard to attend a church you've never been to before. Maybe this will be "the one" for you!
My husband & I have had to search for a new church twice (when moving) and it can be a difficult process! So glad your experience on Sunday was so positive.
What we love best about our church now is that we really do life together...we really live in community with the people in our small group & one other small group and we know what is happening in each other lives & really support each other and walk through the joys and trials together!
Blessings as you continue the process of finding the right church for your family.
Sounds like you may have found a new church! We were faced with looking for a new church about 2 1/2 years ago. We needed to find a church where we didn't just go, we needed a place where we could grow. We found a new church home and love it.
I've lived in the same area my whole life so I 've never had to search for a new church to attend.
Sounds like you found a nice one :)
nice. we just recently changed churches...when i moved back 2 years ago we went back to the church i ministered in...recently they made some changes and a lot of our friends moved to services in the evening so we felt a little lost, out of community...we found another...it felt good walking in...the message was good, different than what we were used to but sound, the music is a little less rock n roll...one of the things that really made an impression with us was that it was not perfect...we had felt a little choreographed at where we were...and they took good care of the kids and they learned something...
I have actually been looking into a new church home. The church I attend now is ALWAYS so crowded that our family sometimes has to split up. They only offer one service so if they broke it up into two or more it would not be a problem. I am not sure how to go about "shopping" for a church though. Your post gave me some inspiration!
this sounds good, we're visiting a new church as well - second sunday - and i really like it
I really appreciate your experience on this. I started attending my husband's church when we first started dating. I hadn't been to church in like 6 years (well not regularly) and so I was really excited to get back. Recently I've felt like going shopping again. Our church is huge. We go on Saturday afternoon now and there are easily 1000 people going to that service. I haven't felt like getting more involved and I'm starting to disagree with some of their practices. IDK, I think finding a church is so tricky...a relationship with GOD, much easier. :)
I'm glad it went well for you. If you feel inspired, welcomed and excited to be there, then it's the right church for you.
I have never had to church shop but I have gone to new churches a lot since we move a lot. And since we move a lot I am so so grateful for my faith. I am LDS and when we move and go to our new ward we have always been immediately welcomed and it is a way to have almost instant friends as I am with a lot of people with my same values. I don't know how I could have survived all of our moves if it wasn't for my church.
Isn't it intimidating? I've always come from small churches (200-300 members) and so when my then-fiance and I moved to a bigger town and visited a church that had 600-ish members it seemed so foreign that nobody even knew we were new, or seemed to care. We were happy to find a small church (where we were married). I love small-congregation life- almost because it "keeps you accountable" for getting involved, instead of sitting idly in a pew.
Ironically, we have JUST moved back to our home-town and are attending the church that my father is minister at... talk about being held "accountable"!! ;)
we are in the middle of finding a church now. trying to figure out what we want in a church and finding a church we can be used in. it is so hard
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I love your online home here.
It's really funny that you were scouting church this last weekend. We've been doing the same and just this last Sunday we went to another new church. I think this is the one for us. It's small (they all are in "farmland" here) and the pastor was at the door when we got there shaking hands/greeting. The message was great...had a children's offering...and then when we left he gave high fives to the kids (I thought this was good as it keeps children involved and connected). Then when we left he was like yours, at the door saying good by and have a blessed week to everyone. How awesome is that!? You sure feel connected!!!
I'll be back to see what you decide.
God Bless!
Tina
ps....i see we read a lot of the same blogs!!! :)
I'm SO glad it went well and you enjoyed your experience! :)
I hope you will enjoy your next visit every bit as much as the first! My husband was raised Catholic and I was raised Methodist. No real church home, but I am considering going to a local Baptist church. What a mix, huh?
Finding the 'right' church is so hard. We have attended a few different ones since being married and have now found and been attending what I beleive is the right one...very small (100+), everyone is super friendly and solid Bible teaching. Sounds like you had a great experience, interested to hear how next week goes with the family! God bless - Holly
Wow! What a topic! And popular too! My hubby is a Senior Pastor of a small church. I too have been right where you are - wanting to blend - but wanting to search out everything about the place - to see if it can be "home".
My husband & I both came from large churches... so to be at a small one has been an adjustment. Way to be for giving it a try! I would imagine they need you just as much as you need them! You just might be the rescue they've been praying for in a some specific area!
I'm your newest follower from iFellowship! Enjoy your day here! So glad you joined us!
Have a great Wednesday!
I really enjoyed reading about your experience in looking for a new church. I have never had that experience because I grew up in the church we go to now. But, I do believe the doctrine of what my church believes, it's not just because I grew up in it. :)
I like that we sing contemporary songs and hymns (just like the church you visited)I really like that it is a smaller church, too. And also, most importantly, we believe that the Bible is the infallible Word of God and follow that, we don't pick and choose what we want to believe in it.
i'm glad it went well. we had a huge church in tulsa and here in ga it's so much smaller. i really like that. i like the fact that someone notices if you happen two miss two weeks in a row. i like that the pastor is a person who chooses to mingle and be a REAL person.
it's totally nerve racking to try a new church - it shouldn't be though.
G'day sweet CM ~ Beautiful write.
We left our Catholic Church we had attended because of the social tea party atmosphere instead of warmth & reverence toward God & His church. This occurred twice. The other reason was because the priest was so 'into' the 'clique' & this is not why we attend Mass at all.
Then we found this wonderful country Catholic church where the priest was so full of life, genuinely. He made you WANT to come because of his personality & the way he made you feel. Oh, their are the little cliques, etc., but each priest since Fr. Gene left have been wonderful in their own way ... they draw you into their gospel preaching, personality & warmth. Our newest priest, Fr. Jason, the children love ... he reaches out to each of them.
Your newly received church sounds so warm & inviting ... I hope it works out for you.
Have a great day, my special friend
TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon
Searching for a new church my husband and I knew what we wanted-
A friendly place
Great Worship Music
A great kids ministry
Down to earth pastors
After looking at 4 churches we finally decided one the one furthest away from us. It was definitely a right decision. We're still adjusting and nothing will ever compare to the church we came from. We're just blessed to have found a place we love now.
I feel for you because I know how difficult that can be! Praying that God will direct your steps and that you will find that perfect fit!
Blessings!
Melanie
I like that small church feel too, but it can be scary walking in for the first time.I still remember receiving a letter from the Pastor after our first first. It mentioned a personal item then said we home you find a church home even if it's not us. I thought that was great a non-pushy, we've been there 6 years now.
We ended up at our small southern Baptist church just a year ago now. I (and then my family) had attended the last church for 7 years. It was large, contemporary, and growing.
However, there were some decisions being made that I didn't really agree with, my husband wasn't plugged in at all, I was overcommitted and not being relieved, and my kids became a number in the masses.
I came home crying one Sunday and my cousin had been with me, visiting from out of state. I was so frustrated and she said "why are you there then? Clearly God is telling you it is time to go somewhere else". We never returned. I called the appropriate people and resigned all of my responsibilities.
The church we are attending (now members of) I had been going to on Wednesday nights with my kids for almost a year. Everyone was very kind to me coming by myself with two small children. We went as a whole family one Sunday morning and have been there ever since. It is truly "home".
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