This is my baby. He's two.
I'm 37.
And I have a serious case of baby fever.
I thought I was done. I was perfectly content with my two healthy, happy little boys.
But lately, I've been thinking about this...
(Sprout, 1 week old)
and this...
(Cubbie, 1 week)
Remembering sweet little baby fingers, the warmth of a nursing baby, the teeny, tiny bundle curled up in a baby sling.
But I go back and forth...
...am I too old? What about the risk factors after 35?
...should I just be happy where we are? We are almost done with diapers and things are getting easier.
...do I really want to go back to pumping 3X a shift at work? Should a working mom really have three kids? Am I being selfish? Can we afford daycare for three kids?
...can we "make" a girl? And if we have another boy, can I handle THREE boys? That's a lotta boy!
So I am torn. My DH is too. I've been praying and asking for God's guidance, but haven't found a peace about it yet.
Any thoughts?
How did you know when you were done having kids?
33 comments:
I have baby fever too! It must be in the air ;) I know I am not done but I only have one.. so I am not much help. Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone.. I long for that little boy and your are longing for that girl LOL
Have a great weekend girlie. Cant wait to hear what your thoughts are after you get some advice
I knew all along that three was the right number for me. Boys, girls or a mixture, I wanted three. Number three ended up being the girl hubs wanted (and I was scared of!) which was a blessing, but that was all in God's hands.
I don't have the answer for you, but I will officially say, this working mom has three kids. Daycare was killer, but once we started into the school transition, it got better. And I never view wanting to love and raise healthy, well-rounded kids as selfish!
If your heart is telling you more than listen.... you will never regret it. Not one single second. God makes a way no matter WHAT your circumstances are. Just trust Him....
(maybe hats why Im pregnant with my 6th...LOL)
Good luck and many blessings..
XoXo
if it is to be it will happen...so if that is what your heart is telling you...
Prayer is definitely the best answer! I still wonder if we should have kept going, even after four! There IS something about those newborn noises and smells...
After our second and third I felt so torn, just like you. My mom kept telling me that was a good thing - that being 'done' wasn't something that should be taken lightly. And I would say, the turmoil almost always means another little one is one it's way (at least in our experience!) ... and three boys is crazy fun. Girls are just crazy! :o)
I have baby fever too! We only have 1 and thought that was all we would ever have, but lately I've been longing for another little one. Trust your heart and the rest will fall into place. Best wishes for a healthy, happy baby girl... if another baby is what you decide to do! :)
If it feels right, then do it. Worry about everything else later :). I have baby fever lately too, so I know what its like!
I'd say go for it! Each child is a wonderful blessing and I don't think you can have too many!!
My Mom was in her 40's when she had my youngest brother. No complications whatsoever. I think if it's been on you mind so much, something inside you is saying "it's time." Go with your heart.
I say if you really want one, go for it!
I would love to have another child, but since it's gotten easier now that my son is 4 years old, I don't think I want to start all over. The first few years are so hard especially since I work full time. Plus, we've been lucky enough not to need a babysitter since my husband and I work opposite shifts. But, there's always the chance his schedule could change. Then I feel really bad because I don't want him to grow up without a sibling. For me, if it happens it happens, but I'm not planning it or anything.
I have had 3 sons .. they are now 23,21 & soon to be 14. I had all those same thoughts before I fell pregnant with my last son. I can tell you there is absolutely no regret & all those feelings or worries evaporate the moment you hold them in your arms. I think your instincts will tell you what is right for you and the rest well that will all come naturally. You can handle 3 boys ... my sister has 2 daughters & a son and I love them all dearly but girls can be just as challenging.
That baby pull can be quite strong, can't it? I don't have any suggestions for you because I too go back and forth trying to decide. When I'm being rational, I think I know that 3 kids would be too much for me, but it's hard to be logical when you see cute little bundles of baby love. :-) I know you can handle whatever you choose in this life, so I think you just have to let your faith guide you. Happy choice making!
Go for it!! I will cheer you on.
first of all
YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Yay!!!! Yes yes yes yes you should have another baby! YAY!
Awww...I KNEW after 3 I wasn't done.
I said I was done. And I told people I was done. But it nagged. And I KNEW.
Summer was the only one I had in my 30's and she is 5 years after the others and 13 years after tatum! But I am SO GLAD i did it.
And now I KNOW i am complete. (for real) :)
They say you will never regret having another, but you will regret never not having another one!
When I was pregnant with Zach, I was sure I was done. Then after I had him, I felt just like you do now. Enter Emma. Boy or girl, I knew it would be my last baby. I felt it in my heart. And when she came, I knew our family was complete. It just felt right. You'll know, friend. When you know you're done, you'll know.
That's my way of saying GO.FOR.IT. :-) With us, the third time was the charm, Emma was the perfect baby. Go for it!
Sounds like that will be something you and DH will have to pray about. I will not look forward to that decision when I am "almost done" and not sure if I want more or not. I know I want two more, Lord willing, but what if I get baby fever after a third....
I would love to add to our family but so many factors tell us we need to stop at two happy, healthy kids. Tell that to my achy uterus though...I don't know if you ever stop yearning do you?
I am so glad you posted on this. We sound like we're in an identical situation. I am a working mom of 2 boys, ages 4 and 20 months. I'm 36. I would like to have one more, but I go back and forth with the same issues. But lately when I see a newborn, I want another one. Someone at work told me that means I am not done with my family. I think they are right. We are going to wait one more year I think and then decide for sure. I am following you now ;-) will have to find out what you decide. You go first...ha ha! I have told myself that I wouldn't do it just to try for a girl. I think 3 boys may be what the Lord wants for us! ~Kimberly
www.stinkerpinker.com
Oh, CM! I feel your pain.
I am a baby freak...LOVE babies. I could have a million of 'em. I don't have any wise words or fabulous advice to offer...just follow your heart.
I'll tell you this...I doubt you'd regret having another baby. But would you regret not having another baby?
So many people I talk to have told me, "I wish I would have had more...", but I'm pretty sure I've never had anyone say, "You know...I really wish we would have had that last babe...". ;)
That is kinda a dilemma. Right now I say I am done since I have a boy and a girl. But there are moments I want more. I did not enjoy being pregnant the second time around (it might have had something to do with the summer heat, living in an upstairs apartment and no air conditioning) and I'm not totally into the baby stage. But I miss it too. Mine are now 8 and 6 (soon to be 7) years old and I find myself wanting more. So, I'm not much help hear, I would just suggest continued prayer asking him to take the longing away if it is not to be.
I only knew I was done when the baby fever was no more. You're not too old!
I think if you're asking the question then you already know the answer...you just need that shove over the line. :)
A sweet friend of mine is a dispatcher...almost the same crazy hours...and her three are spaced about like your three would be. They do just fine!
Age? Yes, there will be extra testings...but only at the beginning if everything looks fine at that 13 week mark. You just have to ignore the label "advanced maternal age"...I drew a frowny face on my chart. Take that, stupid label! :)
Me? I'm done at two. And there's been no second guessing on that either. No longing for the babies. No quiet questions.
You sure threw a lot of questions out there!!! I think I will just remain silent since I know my opinion is not the popular one. :)
GORGEOUS pictures!!!!
Blessings-
Amanda
This is so hard. I have gone through the same thing.
My brother in law and his wife have 6 and are not done. She is 37yrs old. So as far as the risk goes, I think it depends so much on you. Your health, etc.
As for knowing whether you should have another or not, only you and your husband could say for sure. I will say this though. You could just allow yourselves to be open to it one more time. Give it a six month window where you feel "free" to let it happen, and if it's God's will, then it will. Heck...if it's God's will, it will happen any time. But you could help it along a little for a defined amount of time. Just a thought.
We thought we were done with just two, but God put fostering/adoption in our hearts. Now we are looking at the serious possibility of having Little Man's soon-to-be-born sister. We have already agreed to care for her if CPS takes her, too. There is a strong possibility of that.
So just pray about it and the Lord will help you find what is in your hearts.
Big Hugs!!
please do not think you are too old because i have that fever BAD
Well, sweetie, firstly ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SPROUT! I do hope he had a fun filled celebration.
Now re BABY FEVER ~ IF YOU KNEW HOW OLD I AM, which you won't, I never stopped having BABY FEVER ... & trust me, you are never TOO old! The only thing that stopped me from having 2 dozen kid-lings was the loss of our young son & medical issues.
Finances & economy are the biggest concern, but usually there is always a way to work things out if you truly have this desire to bring in a 'pink' now.
On the other hand, you can always enjoy the beauties that you have & look forward to being a 'Mimi' down the road ... OR ...
The urge of BABY FEVER, I swear, is always there ... & when I said I was OLD, I meant it, sweetie. So I adopt others kid-lings as 'family', enjoy them, do children's charity work to bring a smile to a child that truly needs a loving heart ... you can do this also ... & still be very fulfilled. Believe me.
You'll make the right choice.
Hugs of love to you tonight ... my heart goes out to you from one Mother to another ... you are so precious, CM.
Marydon
I did not feel done after 3. My husband could have gone either way. We prayed about, decided to try for a 4th, which happened very easily! and I cannot imagine life without that 4th one. As soon as I did the home pregnany test, though, I KNEW now we were done! It kind of sounds like that's where you are. People told me that you will know when you're done, which sounded cliche to me, but as soon as I stared at those 2 lines on the home test, I agreed. Our 4th was our last. And you can definitely handle 3 boys. They may be more rambunctious, but girls are more emotional. Blech.
Yes just keep praying and trust whatever decision you make. The third really does rock the balance and change things.
I had my first at 40 and second at 42 and a half. My pregnancies were fairly uneventful, but I was borderline gestational diabetic with our first. I'm not sure what it would be like to be pregnant in my 20's or 30's, but I truly loved being pregnant. It was AFTER the each girl got here that my butt got kicked! It was VERY hard to get my own self back, and after our second I had post partum depression and became an insomniac for FOUR years!
I was worried about the risk factors of being labeled AMA (Advanced Maternal Age WTH?!?!), but both girls are healthy and driving me/us nuts like any 5 & 7 year old girls would do. Listen to your body and your hear (and maybe your husband ;-) )
OOPS! I forgot to leave you my blog trail so you could follow me! It's www.walkingtheoff-beatenpath.blogspot.com
Hope to see you there!~
u must go for it!!!
http://sparkledaroma.blogspot.com/
http://liberalflorence.blogspot.com/
*gasp..... i wonder if baby fever is catchy? hehe
I am going to be 42 this month and still don't rule out "maybe one more".
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