This morning
In the dark early hours
I was half awakened by a small, precious voice,
"Mama, can I come in your bed?"
Up and over, I set Sprout in between us.
I curled around him protectively like only a mother can.
As I felt his chest rise and fall,
"Mama, can I come in your bed?"
Up and over, I set Sprout in between us.
I curled around him protectively like only a mother can.
As I felt his chest rise and fall,
I thought of a time when I longed for the same...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Softly, under the covers
I was careful not to cause a stir.
I pressed against my mom's unconscious body.
The stale, sweet familiar odor came in waves with her every breath.
I took her limp arm and put it around my middle.
And for the moment, she was home.
I pressed against my mom's unconscious body.
The stale, sweet familiar odor came in waves with her every breath.
I took her limp arm and put it around my middle.
And for the moment, she was home.
(Author's note: I debated posting this for fear of being too...what? Personal? Emotional? But my mom's drinking is what has made me a better mom today.)
41 comments:
I love how you tied in your present with your past. I know that there are things you longed for so deeply then and now. You are just such an amazing mom. I want to let you know that. So while you are comparing the past to the present, please remember that your awesome present is making an awesome past for your sons. :-)
Big hugs go out to you this morning.
Wow, that is beautiful and powerful and makes my heart choke up. What a rare thing it is to learn from your hurts and choose a different path.
Thanks for share your heart -- and good job Cop Mama!
This was so moving. Thank you for sharing.
@ Kim, Sharon, HappyGal
Thank you for your kind comments. It's always challenging for me to share from the heart like this.
I am glad you shared. I am sure your experience makes you cherish each moment with your kids even more!
What a beautiful poem! You have a gift for expressing such a memory so simply and heartfelt. I'm sorry you didn't have the security in your childhood that so many of us take for granted ~ but how wonderful that your own children feel so safe and loved!
Thank you for sharing this. And how wonderful that you are providing a good and safe place for your children.
Isn't it amazing how something like that can trigger a memory? Nice way to link the present and the past.
very moving words,Thank you for sharing such a personal piece of yourself.
I like how you write this. My mom's mothering, or lack there-in, also made me a better mother. Sad, but not wasted.
Nicely done
I have goosebumps. You're amazing, friend!
This is such a sweet, sweet post!
Thanks for sharing.
~Heather
Thanks for sharing. I am far from a perfect Mom but my Mothers lack of love has very much inspired me to be a better parent.
Glad you got in some cuddle time :0)
That's beautiful. My daughter does the same thing almost every morning and she's six. I used to snuggle with my mom too and while she didn't struggle with the same thing, she was a single mom who worked a lot to support us and wasn't always able to be there when I needed her. She did her best though, and morning snuggle time is one of my fondest memories as well. Thanks for bringing that up.
I'm glad that you posted this, life is personal.
This made me so happy for your child and proud of you for creating the warmth, safety, and security you lacked.
That was such a tender memory and I'm so touched that you would honor us and share it. Beautiful! (((hugs)))
Beautiful and moving...kids grow up to fast and it's precious moments like cuddles in bed that I'm going to miss one day.
I've got a friend who won't let her kids sleep in her bed... she doesn't relise whats she's missing out on.
Wow, that hit home to me. My 2 siblings and I learned that lesson two and didn't follow in her footsteps.
Wow!! Beautiful post!!
I didnt quite understand until I read your side note... then it hit me like a punch in the face. Wow. I love how you took something so traumatic and raw and made it soft and sweet and real.
This is amazing girl.
I think this is absolutely, positively beautiful.
I am not caught up in the "too personal...not funny, too serious." I say blog what you feel. Gosh, my posts run the gamit. Happy, sad, pensive, whatever. I loved this. It's posts like this that captivate...in my most humble opinion.
Also, now it has me wanting to know more about your experience.
And, just like that, we know you just a little bit better. Thank you for taking the risk.
Beautiful beautiful writing!
Glad to know you better. Blessed that you shared! Your kids are going to love their past! ;) We rise above our past and we live, laugh, and love in ways we did not find ourselves! Amen!
Just Jenn~
Oh my, this is just want a pregnant momma can only read and weep. What a beautiful blog posting! True too.
PS I awarded you on my blog. I love reading your blog and had to give you a shout out!
Cheerfully, Rebecca
This is a very beautiful and touching post.
I'm glad you shared this with us.
How cute!! I can't wait for these moments with the babe!
~WM
Wow, you are quite the writer. I think someday you could publish an autobiography...and judging by how many people are reading your blog after such a short time of blogging...it would be a hit!
Thanks for sharing those powerful words.
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
I left something for you on my blog today!
http://www.petersonstlouis.com/2010/02/sharin-little-sunshine.html
I'm glad you posted this--selfishly, so I could read it. It's touching and how much, I think, our becoming mothers reminds us all so much of our own mothers...sometimes for the good, sometimes not so much. The continuity of that bond is just so strong. And, as you pointed out, that brings us to the love of our children in the present. Touching.
Thank you for sharing this! Beautifully written. We can tell you are a great mama.
Your blog, dont apologise for sharing what you want to. actually, thanks for sharing. I grew up with similar issues in my family and i agree, it makes me want to be a better mother.
hope you dont mind, i tagged you for an award on my blog and when i read your comments rebecca has done too...i checked and its the same one, ah well 2 shout outs and 1/2 the work for you :)
Oh my word. That was so incredibly touching.
Wow.
Just, wow.
Oh do I know exactly what you are saying. First time visiting your blog as I just got the follow notice on Twitter.
*hugs*
http://www.minnesotajo.com/2010/01/dear-maggie-heather-and-meagn.html
Whew... Didn't see that one coming! Very subtle tie in... Bravo for putting yourself out there; so vulnerable, yet honest! Bless you and may your children thrive because of your love!
Wow! That was beautiful...I can so relate...thank yo so much for sharing this! I, too, think I am the mom I am today because I knew what I needed as a child.
That was really deep!
You. are. amazing.
My dad was an alcoholic and my mom became a single parent when I was 10 in order to break the cycle.
Keep writing and keep healing.
Your children are so blessed!
*That last comment was from me- I forgot to sign out from my "non-blog" e-mail...sorry!
What a beautiful post. You are a wonderful mom:)
Wow! I love that. It evokes a lot of emotion and I can just feel that little girl's hope that her mom is really there for her. Thanks so much for sharing that and thanks for giving your girl the love that she needs.
that is precious. i honestly understand that feeling. so precious to look at it that way
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